Casey Jones VS Rorschach
TMNT vs Watchmen. Whether they run solo or with others, these two masked vigilantes take the law into their own hands when the law is not enough. With aggression, ruthlessness, and any weapon they can get their hands on, who will reign as the ultimate anti-hero of New York City? Description Wiz: Urban areas like New York City are the ideal playgrounds for criminals to slip through the cracks of the law in order to wreak havoc on the public. Boomstick: But, when the law isn’t enough, there is always a team of extraordinary heroes ready to right the wrongs. Wiz: And every team of heroes has an enforcer that is not afraid to right those wrongs with ruthlessness, brutality, and any weapon they can get their hands on. Boomstick: All while wearing an intimidating mask to hide their identity. Wiz: Casey Jones, the ruthless hockey player vigilante and ally to the teenage mutant ninja turtles. Boomstick: And Rorschach, the psychopathic masked anti-hero of the Watchmen Wiz: I’m Wizard and he’s Boomstick. And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle. Casey Jones Wiz: The world isn't fair. It will beat you, hurt you, push you to your very limits, and give you nothing in return. For some who choose to fight back, the justice offered from law enforcement just isn't enough. Boomstick: We've all seen the vigilante origin story in comics before, but my lord, is this one pretty brutal. Wiz: As a kid, Arnold "Casey" Jones lived with his family in the downtrodden parts of New York City, where his father worked as a mechanic. Things weren't too great, but Casey managed to get by, until the fateful night where the street gang known as the Purple Dragon took center stage in his life. Boomstick: You'd think these guys were just Mortal Kombat rejects because they worshipped Barney the Dinosaur instead of more badass cyborg Australians, but nope, these guys are just as violent as your average New York gang of thugs. After being denied protection money, the decided to raid the shop, gun down poor daddy and take Arnold's mom and sister hostage. Wiz: Casey's stubborn streak earned him a massive beating in the process, but he never gave up his quest to avenge his father. Someone needed to take a stand against organized crime, and it had to be him. Boomstick: I think you mean "take a stab", because Casey's solution just happened to be ''stabbing a motherfucker's neck with a knife!'' Wiz: Thus began Casey Jones' descent into madness. As he grew up, he became increasingly violent, lost most of his friends, and had to learn to live on the streets. Boomstick: But with all he sacrificed, Jones learned one thing: That crime was still out there. And justice needed to be served, whether from the law enforcement, or from him. Wiz: Donning his iconic hockey mask to protect his identity, and heading out with the best weapons he could find... Boomstick: Sports equipment Wiz: ...Casey Jones began his crusade against crime; his rampage of revenge. And it wasn't long until he came across New York City's more refined vigilante group: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Boomstick: And which is the ONE turtle you DON'T want to meet first? Raphael. Wiz: Jones was a regular human with regular weapons. While he used surprise to his advantage, his lack of skill confined his earlier targets to small groups of thieves or muggers, prey appropriate for only one turtle to handle at a time. Boomstick: Didn’t stop him from actually murdering his victims. Geez, this guy is like the complete opposite of Batman. I mean, he actually wears hockey pads! Wiz: And while Raphael also had a hotheaded streak, he was also a turtle of honour. Casey and Raph would come to fight each other several times before coming to terms. And while Raphael’s training and superior weapons should have gotten easy victories, Casey surprisingly held his own, which did not go unnoticed by the turtles. Boomstick: After shaking hands and taking down a large group of thugs, Casey came to respect New York’s crime-fighting quadruplet, and returned to help them escape the evil Shredder. By lending out his farmhouse as a secondary base, Casey Jones bonded with the team, and became its seventh member, after master Splinter, and hot reporter April O’Neil. And before you ask, yes. The only two humans on the team, male and female, would eventually get to hooking up. Hands up if you saw that coming? Yeah, thought so. Wiz: Though, it is worth noting that his first wife was actually a pregnant waitress in Colorado. She died during childbirth, leaving Casey to raise their daughter Shadow up on his own until April and him finally got to the altar. Boomstick: He named their kid Shadow? Geez, hockey players are more emo than I thought. Wiz: It’s not angst, Boomstick, it’s anger. Casey’s incredibly violent personality, stemming from watching the wrong TV shows as a kid, tends to get him more riled up than Raphael himself, and it makes him an incredibly vicious fighter. His element of surprise is not to be underestimated. Boomstick: Some of Casey Jones’ favourite pain-bringers are without a doubt his hockey sticks, which can be made of solid wood or lightweight hollow plastic. The blades on the end make it an ideal weapon for tripping opponents, hooking objects, or shooting grounded projectiles. Given that he carries pucks with him, but is also fond of using rocks or pop cans he comes across, Casey is almost never without ranged options. Wiz: The hockey sticks are often Casey’s go-to objects for basic melee combat as well, but should he want more of an oomph, baseball bats aren’t far behind. Casey is a mean swing, able to knock trained ninjas unconscious with one shot to the head, and can very easily return projectiles to sender. Boomstick: Name a piece of sports equipment, and Jones probably has it equipped. It isn’t just the bag over his shoulder that connects him to the greens; he uses golf clubs as well, preferring to stick to the driver side of things. Cricket bats, tennis rackets... why he’d want all these for swinging is beyond me, but if anything can be a weapon, I guess one must learn to grab all the weapons. Wiz: And all of Jones’ weapons aren’t just sports related. For example, you wouldn’t see Wayne Gretzky or Barry Bonds sticking nails in their weapons, but Casey isn’t afraid to draw blood. He’s also not above using steel pipes or any other pole-like objects that can be salvaged from the near environment. Boomstick: Again with the damn melee weapons. If it wasn’t for the balls he had, this guy would be totally predictable. Both literal, and metaphorical, balls. Or, actually, I guess both are literal. You know what I mean. Wiz: Well, the turtles very rarely wield anything other than their preferred weapons either. Although his fighting skills were initially self-taught from movies and books, he has been taught martial arts by the four ninjas, and even Splinter himself. Boomstick: Didn’t splinter also just teach himself from movies and books? Wiz: Hush, Boomstick. Regardless of the means, the result is that Casey is a very skilled combatant, both armed and unarmed. His ability to duel-wield is impressive on its own, and he's physically strong enough to lift and throw entire exercise machines! While often not able to keep up with the main strike team, Casey can hold his own against the highly skilled Foot Clan ninjas, and often serves backup or recon when the action gets heated, though he has gone up against, and even defeated, the Shredder. Boomstick: He sure found out that slicing up dense wooden objects isn’t as easy as it looks. Your average stick can take a hell of a beating. Wiz: Casey’s armour can also take a surprising amount of hits, because its... well, you know, sports equipment. While he prefers to keep his legs light, his upper body is often covered by hockey gear. With a hard plastic surface and shock-absorbing foam on the inside, he’s not going down any time soon. Boomstick: He must have listened to his mamma growing up, because knee pads, elbow pads, and his iconic hockey mask are almost never out of reach. Adding to his outfit, Jones sometimes dons roller blades for quick travel. Plus, garbage can lid shield, amirite? Wiz: You’d think he’d top it all off with a bike helmet given their defensive abilities, but I guess that hair has to flow somewhere. Its not often that someone's hair is so damn smooth, they can ace a job interview while wearing a suit and a goalie mask. Boomstick: He may not be mutant. He may not be turtle. He SHOULD not be teenager, coughcough2012seriescansuckmydickcoughcough, but he is without a doubt ninja. Granted that stealth is the biggest weapon of the group, or at least is supposed to be, it’s only natural that Jones has been educated in the craft. And to good effect; in a duel with Raphael, he was able to outstealth the anger turtle to claim victory. Wiz: It would be feats like these that should make Jones a permanent member of the group; however, his biggest weakness comes from his mental instability. If too angered, he will forget plans of attack; he will forget his training; he will become a murdering machine. Boomstick: Sounds great on paper, but in a world chock-full of ninjas and trained fighters who are all like “you must control your emotions blah blah blah”, it makes Jones pretty easy to overcome. Wiz: He’s often convinced, both by others and himself, to take time to sit on the sidelines for this very reason. So he doesn’t have nearly the amount of combat experience the turtles themselves have. Taking time off to raise his daughter and marry Miss Jumpsuit also decreased his training in his later years. Boomstick: Which actually says a lot, given that the Turtles have gone through time, visited different dimensions, and even became professional wrestlers! Granted, “Mean Green Smackdown Machine” wouldn’t be much of a thematic name if Wayne Gretzky on Steroids was a member. Wiz: Casey’s weapons are also, at the end of the day, not designed to be weapons. No matter his proficiency in using them, there’s no doubt that guns or swords are more deadly. He's also, kind of dumb in some appearances. You don't see Donatello beating the crap out of kitchen appliances to serve them justice. Boomstick: But if having a sword guaranteed victory, then Casey would have died long ago to the Foot Clan. Instead, he’s alive and kicking ass alongside one of the most famous teams of superheroes on the planet. Attention all crooks who skipped gym class: step back into the alleyways of New York, and I can guarantee you, it will come back to haunt you. Thief: What the hell was that? Casey jumps down from a tree Casey: That was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes! And this is, uh, the penalty! Proceeds to beat them up Casey: Two minutes for slashing, two minutes for hooking, and, let’s not forget my personal favourite, two minutes for high sticking! Rorschach Cue Watchmen - Unforgettable Wiz: The world of The Watchmen takes place during the contemporary period of the 80s, but with several key differences. Boomstick: The most relevant one being that superheroes are an actual thing, though they are more like glorified crime fighters as they all don't have actual superpowers. The exception is Doctor Manhattan, who doesn't know anything about pants apparently. Wiz: Though over time, superheroes became unpopular to the public and were banned, in accordance with "the Keene Act". Many of the heroes were forced to retire, with only a select few continuing their service with the United States government. Boomstick: Though in New York City, there was one hero who continued to operate outside of the jurisdiction of the law. He was known as the World's Greatest Detective, the ink-blotted masked vigilante that citizens and criminals everywhere knew as Rorschach. ''' Wiz: Before he became the humanoid version of the psychological test, he was born as Walter Joseph Kovacs in 1940. '''Boomstick: Ya get ready ladies and gentlemen, this man's life is one heck of a rollercoaster. Wiz: That's putting it mildly, Boomstick. Boomstick: Anyway, young Walter was the son of a prostitute and an unknown father so you could say he was the original bastard child. His mother would constantly abuse him, which didn't exactly help when he was also picked on by bullies because they considered him ugly and they are kinda right. ''' Wiz: One day at the age of eleven, Walter has had enough and decided to stand up to his bullies and this surprisingly resulted in him being taken away from his current living conditions and be put in an orphanage. '''Boomstick: Huh, what a coincidence! Wiz: Now out of his abusive mother's grasp and in a better setting, Walter slowly started to improve. He took up many studies including several philosophies, gymnastics, and even a little bit of boxing. After leaving the orphanage at 16 years old he got a job as a garment worker in a dress shop. Boomstick: Life started looking up for Walter until he read about the rape and subsequent murder of Kitty Genovese. This is what caused him to snap, leading him down a path that he could never stray away from. Wiz: Disillusioned with the witnesses of the murder standing by and doing nothing to prevent it, Walter not wanting any further innocents to be killed by the scum of the world wanted to take matters into his own hands. Boomstick: So Mr. Kovacs made a mask out of a certain fabric that strangely acted similarly to his namesake to serve as his true and more beautiful face, put on a trench coat along with a sick fedora, and became a new harbinger of justice. While killing a rapist in the process! Cue Watchman - Tonight The Comedian Died! Wiz: From that very strange and bloody night Walter took up the name of Rorschach, becoming a well-renowned and feared vigilante. He joined the team of superheroes called "Crimebuster" where he worked alongside his partner the second Nite Owl. Boomstick: During his early days he wasn't always the violent anti-hero he was famous for. Originally he only beats up criminals and leaves them for the Police along with a Rorschach test as his calling card. ''' Wiz: That, however, all changed. One fateful day he was investigating the disappearance of a young girl and had followed the trail to the house of a man named Gerald Grice. There he found out the unfortunate, and grizzly fate of the child. This is where his darker nature took hold. '''Boomstick: During his mental breakdown, Rorschach proceeded to kill the man's dogs, who were eating the remains of the girl and then lite the shack on fire with the murderer still inside. It's safe to say that the guy got what he deserved. Wiz: On that day Walter Kovacs died and the vigilante Rorschach was truly born. Now bounded by a strict black and white view of the world, he never compromises to evil. Boomstick: Rorschach may have no superpowers believe me he is anything, but simple. Wiz: He rarely carries any weapons on hand, but the one piece of equipment he has is a gas operated grappling gun that was designed by Nite Owl when they were still partners. This gun can be used to scale tall buildings and traverse those hard to reach places. Boomstick: Or be used as a makeshift harpoon!! Good god, now that is deadly and a bit unsettling! ''' Wiz: He is adept with firearms and using any object he gets his hands on as a weapon. He is also stronger than the average human and has great precision and timing. '''Boomstick: He is a skilled street fighter, Acrobat, has excelled in literature, mathematics, political science, and religious education, and is damn good at intimidation and detective work. He's pretty much a more realistic version of Batman if he wasn't a billionaire and was completely unstable. Wiz: Though despite his instability he has been described as an intelligent and tactically brilliant individual. Combined with that and his high tolerance for pain makes him a dangerous and unpredictable opponent. Cue Watchman - All That Is Good Boomstick: While superheroes are now illegal, that didn't stop him from doing his mission as a ruthless vigilante. He's strong enough to break a security glass door with his fists, intuitive enough to have discovered the secret compartment of The Comedian when police detectives couldn't, had a hand in killing several of the coldest individuals of the criminal underworld including a quote on quote Supervillain, and was tough enough to survive a fall from a several story building and being beaten up by several police officers and was more pissed off than hurt. Wiz: Not as impressive as the time he went to Antartica, and despite wearing nothing but his usual trench coat and street clothes showed no discomfort whatsoever. Boomstick: Wait, how cold is Antarctica? Wiz: The average temperature of the south pole is at around minus 49 degrees Celsius. In comparison, the average temperature for a home freezer is minus 14 degrees Celsius. The lowest temperature the human body can endure without protection before expiring is minus 21 degrees Celsius. Rorschach's body can handle over two times that. Boomstick: Damn, that is impressive! I have been in a freezer before and it is not fun if you stay in there for too long. Wiz: Wait...why on earth were you in the freezer? Boomstick: Ummm sciency stuff? Wiz: Suuureeee. While Rorschach is insanely intimidating and hardy, he has just as many flaws. Like his fellow heroes, he is nothing more than a mortal man with a mask. Most importantly his insanity along with his firm black and white morality and questionable tactics alienate him from society, which includes his colleagues. Boomstick: Not to mention he is just as ruthless as the very criminals he has made his personal mission to fight against, but I guess what comes around goes around. Wiz: While his refusal to compromise his views is quite admirable, this is what ultimately leads to his downfall when Doctor Manhattan was forced to kill him to keep quiet of a conspiracy set in motion by Ozymandias to unite world nations in light of a false alien invasion which resulted in the destruction of New York City causing the death of millions. Boomstick: No worries he crushed that by sending his journal containing his findings to the press beforehand. Wiz: Well technically we really don't know what happened in the aftermath. We can only speculate. Boomstick: Anywho, aside from getting killed by an actual superhero, Rorschach is the scourge of the criminal underworld for a good reason. Any criminal or evildoer who crosses paths with him, you may as well pray for a quick death or he will make you suffer. Rorschach: None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME! Interlude Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let’s end this debate once on for all. Boomstick: IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!! Death Battle! Results Boomstick: 2 minutes For necessary murder on Casey Jones. Wiz: This match-up was extremely close, both combatants had very similar skills and attributes including combative skills, brutality and stealth. Boomstick: Both fighters had their own advantages; Rorschach had the durability and detective skills, and Jones had the weapons advantage since he carries them with him wherever he goes. All Rorschach has on him is a grappling hook and if Lucky, he can find other items within his surroundings that he can use as weapons. Wiz: In terms of fighting styles, both men had similar street fighting skills, but thanks to his training from the ninja turtles and Master Splinter the edge goes to Jones. Boomstick: Rorschach may have had the better mental stability and intelligence, but Jones’ ninja training allowed him to be a bit more stealthier which basically counteracts. So what was the deciding factor that gave Casey Jones the win? Wiz: That would be COMBAT EXPERIENCE Boomstick. Boomstick: REALLY?! HOW? Wiz: In Rorschach’s universe, he has defeated common thugs and criminals. But those accomplishments were due to the element of surprise or ambushing. Not really man-to-man style. Boomstick: He may be stronger than the average man but there have been times where he has been overwhelmed by the average man. Like the time he took on a dozen police officers but was still stopped and taken into custody. Wiz: Also, it’s important to remember that super-humans, mutants, or highly-trained assassins are extremely rare in the Watchmen universe. The only person with superpowers is Dr. Manhattan and Rorschach never stood a chance against him even if he wanted to. Boomstick: But what about Ozymandias? He’s superhuman, right? Wiz: Not quite. Ozymandias’ abilities are at Olympic levels but not in the same league as super humans like Dr. Manhattan. He’s more or less on the same level as Batman. Boomstick: Gotcha Wiz: Plus, Rorschach wasn’t able to kill Ozymandias let alone defeat him even with the help of Nite Owl. Boomstick: So in a nutshell, Rorschach has never dealt with enemies that could give him the experience, knowledge, and discipline to win or survive this battle. But Casey Jones has taken on and beaten plenty of highly skilled ninjas and mutants like Tatsu, Hun, Bepop, Rocksteady, the ninja turtles themselves, and The Shredder. All of whom may not be as powerful as Dr. Manhattan but they are still stronger and more powerful than the average human or apex human. In Casey Jones’ eyes, Rorschach was nothing more than your common street thug. Wiz: Rorschach may have been more brutal, durable, and intelligent, but Casey Jones pulled out the win due to his better training and better combat experience. Boomstick: Looks like Rorschach got the short end of Jones’ stick. That sounded wrong on many different levels. Wiz: The Winner is Casey Jones Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Comic Books' Themed Death Battles Category:'TMNT vs DC' themed Death Battles Category:'Vigilantes' themed Death Battles Category:Fist vs Club